by jason brown, editor, avaiki nius agency
Engaged in a vanity search for an introductory letter, I discovered that I am, apparently, Poker Lord 76.
At least that's what it says in the top 50 or so Google hits under "cook islands" and "jason brown" much to my annoyance.
Friends will attest to many weaknesses, but gambling ain't one of 'em. Let me put this as plainly as I can: gambling bores me s***less.
WHAT I WOULD RATHER BE DOING
Rather than go and contribute hundreds of dollars to organised crime, or thousands if I really was a poker lord, what I would rather be doing is sitting at the casino bar, sinking shots and marveling at the tide of human emotion blundering past, a rich mix of misery speckled with utter elation.
In short, I don't gamble.
So how does my name get associated with a poker lord? Doth I protest too much? Am I lying?
HOW IT PROBABLY HAPPENED
No big deal, really, but it looks bad on your CV. Type in a search for "cook islands" and you'll get 47,600,000 hits on google - roughly 47 million of those will be utter crap, auto bots churning out pages with lists of countries on them.
Sadly, a search for "Jason Brown" only gets 352,000 hits, but at least I am in the top ten results, after a grid iron player, a country music singer, a Japanese language student, a listed fugitive on America's Most Wanted, a psychologist - yikes! - and, apparently, a member of a boy band called 5ive.
You could only believe that all these are the work of one person - like, me - if you read more conspiracy theories than I do. So, how a "poker lord" probably happens to end up in my search is that he is one of thousands of other fellas with the same name, who register on pages that carry lists of countries.
Unless there are some other Jason Browns hiding out there in the Cooks.
LINK
Not me:
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